Please when did we all agree that suffering and hustle is the only way. Please I just want softness, I want it easy, why can't everything just be easy

Hi Hivers, it's Abeegail again, welcome to my blog. I don't know about you but I want an easy life, I want softness. I want everything handed to me with little or no effort, I don't want to prove myself anymore, I don't want to work hard. I don't even want to get out of the bed most of the times. I want things handed to just because I'm alive, because I exist.

I don't know how we started to glorifying suffering, why do we want to do too much all the time. Truthfully I don't want to hustle or grind. I don't want to wake up at 5:00 am anymore and pretend my life is coming together because I'm “disciplining myself.” it's crazy how we've now romanticize being exhausted, not sleeping for two days is seen as an achievement. I know I might sound lazy but wanting things to be easy shouldn't be seen as laziness because most of the times I'm just tired of pretending and pushing on. I'm tiirrreeed...........I really am, I'm tired of the constant hustle and grind just to continue living up to standard. I don't know if I'm just burnt out and need a reset but I'm just exhausted.

An easy life is one where I'm not snowballing between my mental health and how productive I've been. It's living on my own pace, it's a life where rest is a normal thing and peace isn't something I've to work for or prove I deserve. This doesn't mean I won't work hard or I won't do things I'm passionate about, it just means I won't stress or suffer just because or unnecessarily. I won't romanticize suffering, neither will I worship stress. I'm done idolizing difficultly. So forgive me for wanting peace and softness in a world that makes you work for it.

Call me unrealistic, leave me in my delusions. I’ll be in there, choosing the soft life and ease.

Sometimes I wish I'd never met people, people are messy,

Sometimes I wish I was the only one here,

I'd party with the sun all day and sing to the moon at night,

I'd call the stars pretty and I'm pretty sure the clouds would be fluffy,

Sometimes I'd wish I know how to love but loving someone comes from being loved, they say love yourself first,

But I don't even know who I am, how am I supposed to love me,

Sometimes I wish I was loved,

But I never know what to do with it, I've never been loved before,

Sometimes I wish I was strong, like Superman

But I won't save the world, I just want to carry the burden off my mother, make her smile again,

Sometimes I wish I was Batman

Not to right the injustice of the world, just to have enough money so my dad won't have to worry

Sometimes I wish my voice was loud, I wonder what it would sound like,

When it has constantly been drowned out by the voices of others,

I wish my voice was loud, so that I could shout when someone has wronged me,

I've embraced this silence, like an oasis in a desert,

Sometimes I wish I could talk,.

I try to but all I hear is the voice of others coming out my mouth,

Sometimes I wish people found me pretty,

Not the kind that comes with short, skin-fitted skirt,

Not the kind that only cares what my size waist down is,

The kind that makes people fall in love slowly,

The kind that catches people of guard and make them dedicated their soul to you,

Sometimes I wish I was happy,

Everyone has a smile on their face and there's laughters in the air,

But it feels like I was created without a sense of humor, without a smidget of happy juice,

I try to smile, like the others, but it feels like my face is frozen in this permanent state of gloom,

Sometimes I wish I was happy again.

Sometimes I wish I had more friends,

But I secretly think everyone hates me, so no one would want me right,

Just like a magician, I'll demonstrate a disappearing act, avoid anyone who show an ounce of care and embrace loneliness like my only friend.

Sometimes I wish I was rebellious and stubborn,

Stubborn about the things I want, the zeal to fight back when pushed to a corner,

But obedience is all I know,

I'll happily put the boot on my neck, even if it's the last breath I'll take.

Sometimes I wish I lived for myself,

Not making everything a performance, so I'd be seen,

Not making choices handed to me from other people's shelves,

But trying to be happy, even if it's against others will,

Sometimes I wish I had the guts to be my own person.

Sometimes I wish I was made of steel,

So things won't hurt as bad,

These emotions are much to strong for a teen to feel,

Sometimes I wish I was made of steel.

Sometimes I wish wishes were horses, but they I not.

Sometimes I wish.............................